Genius!

I was talking with Tanner the other day about my Friday doctor visit. Neither of us think it looks very promising, especially because I haven't had any active contractions since Sat. I think that I may have dilated some since Sat., but not enough to really make a difference. Then, I started to do my regular complaining to Tanner about how badly my back hurts and he reminded me of something!! See, I am so used to bad back pain even when I'm NOT pregnant (due to 3 previous spinal cord surgeries), that often times I just tend to forget about it. That is probably something that I should bring up with my Doc. just to see what he says. Before I was pregnant I had to be very cautious of how much weight I lifted, or what activities I participated in, not wanting to put unwanted stress on my back/spine. Well why would it be any different now?? I'm carrying around a lot of extra weight, I'm sure that it's stressin' my back out!! I can feel it, ALL THE TIME!! But I just kinda forget that I've got a special situation and I've never talked about it with these new Docs. Maybe, just maybe they'll be concerned about my back, enough to say that we can deliver a bit early! Especially because I'm already at a 5 and over 36 weeks now. They wouldn't want this baby to get TOO big and then end up causing horrible damage to my precious spinal cord, RIGHT??

Well, I know that I'm sounding pretty desperate these days and obviously have had too much time on my hands to think about getting this baby out. It may be a bit pathetic... but I'm SO ready and I just KNOW my baby is too. In ACTUAL REALITY I know that whatever the doctors decide to do and advise me to do, is the REAL RIGHT thing. I know that they just want what's in my baby's best interest (and so do I! Regardless of how it may seem sometimes). I just keep praying that it'll happen soon!! Maybe I'm jinxing it though! Well, please send lots of labor vibes my way!

Back pain... where'd you go?

Here's me when we first got the news that I was 4cm dilated and THOUGHT we'd be having our baby that day. Calling my mom to tell her the news.

(very flattering pic, I might add)

Tanner thought it'd be funny to take a picture of "US" in the hospital. Of course he decided to do it when I was contracting. How nice.

He caught me!! I'm doing the dishes, when I'm supposed to be on bed/couch rest! They were calling my name!

So, It's been almost 3 days now since that hospital visit and a whole bunch of nothing has happened. It's kinda frustrating to know that my body was ready, in labor, and then now it's just dormant again. I get an assortment of contractions each day, but they never last, or hurt bad enough. Now that I know what REAL labor feels like (which is mostly in my lower back), I keep getting mad that it's all in my front. I know it'll happen soon enough, and more importantly, when she's ready to make her debut.

I called the Doctor's office today to ask a question about my appointment on Friday. I wanted to know if I'd be checked for sure (which I assumed the answer was YES) and if they found that I had made progress and dilated to a 6 or more, would they admit me?? She said, ONLY IF YOU'RE IN ACTIVE LABOR THEN. Darn, I probably wont be. And she said that there was a lady a while back who was dilated to an 8, two weeks early and still made it to her due date. That's VERY reassuring, thanks! I've still got about 4 weeks to go till my expected due date. Maybe that will make a difference though, being this early and already at a 5. Who knows though!! I guess Heavenly Father knows, but he likes to keep these things a surprise! I just keep praying for patience and lots of positive energy. NO MORE INTERNET READING. I've kept going online and reading stories that scare me to death! So NO MORE of that! Okay, well I'll keep you updated!

Waiting is Hard

Okay, I know that it could be weeks until this baby gets here, but I REALLY hope that by being 4-5 cm dilated now, it'll be sooner than later! I am really uncomfortable now and still having little, minor contractions, plus all the pressure from the baby on my pelvis! Sheesh! I'm REALLY REALLY hoping that by Friday, when I go in to get checked, they'll tell me that I've progressed to a 6. Then they can admit me and break my water and all that fun stuff, YAY! But I fear that I may be a bit bitter if they tell me that nothing has changed. Especially because when we first got to the hospital and found out that it WAS indeed labor, all the nurses said that they would not stop my contractions at 35 weeks. Well they were WRONG! So we got our hopes up, thinking that our baby was developed exactly as she should be and was coming NOW... or should I say then. I feel, once again that she will NEVER get here. I know I'm just talking crazy talk, but seriously. Anyway, I'll write some more later, maybe if I have something more important to say.

4-5 cm

Wow... okay a lot happened yesterday, but no baby just yet. I think it'll be MUCH sooner than I thought though! I woke up at a regular time and since it was Saturday I felt fine with being a lazy bum for a couple hours, so I stayed in bed. At around 8:30 I started getting this sharp pain in my lower back and could feel my stomach tighten up. At first I just thought it was weird, probably false labor, or I must have slept on my back in a crazy way for it to hurt like this. I waited about 45 mins and noticed that it wasn't changing at all and kinda coming in waves, WAVES?! It must be REAL contractions!! I started getting a bit freaked out, (especially because I'm still only 35 weeks along!) and just decided to watch it, see if it progressed. I ended up taking a bath, which helped calm me down some. Then tried to eat something, but COULDN'T! See, and to me that was another sign, because I'm ALWAYS hungry! While all this is going on, I was very careful not to say anything too scary to Tanner, I didn't want him to freak out yet. But, but 11:15 I was SO ready to call Labor and Deliver, at least to get some answers. The lady said that I needed to come in right away, and that it sounds like I REALLY could be going into labor!!! SO....I told Tanner (he looked positively stunned for a min or two) and he sprung up, changed his pants for some reason (NO, he didn't wet them!) and then we were off!

It was one of the strangest feelings I've ever felt in my life, having sharp pains creep up on me and then spread quickly to the front of my tummy. OH, and I remember having a lot of pressure on my bum (kept thinking I needed to go... but never did). Sorry, too much info. Anywho... they got me into an exam room right away and hooked me up to the monitors (one for baby's heart beat, and one to measure contractions). At this point I still really wanted to know if what I was feeling was real. My biggest fear was that the nurses would take one look at my results, call me a big baby, and send us home, while laughing at us. BUT to my surprise (and Tanner's... I could see his face when she told us) I was indeed having REAL contractions that happened to be about 3 mins apart! Then, the biggest shocker... she checked my cervix... 4 centimeters dilated!! Nuts huh?! Who knew. So the next hurdle was to check with my doc. and see what he wanted to do about it. He ended up telling us that he wants the baby to stay in a while longer (at least up to a week) and to try and STOP labor. Gotta be honest, I was a bit bummed. Thought I might see my little baby that day!! But I knew that I needed to do what's best for her, so I had no objections to getting a stingy shot in my arm and taking pills every4-6 hours.

So.... you think it may have ended there, but NO! They decided to admit me, so they could keep a close eye on my contractions after the medication. They wanted to see if they would slow down and stop, or get stronger and continue to open my cervix. I stayed at that dang hospital for over 10 hours and my contractions DID slow down a bit, but NEVER went away! SO frustrating, because I just stayed in the middle! They checked me twice during the stay and said that I hadn't dilated anymore and just plainly wasn't progressing. (my back still hurt quite a bit throughout this whole process, but no pain meds for me!... at least for now) The doc finally came in after a long day, around 9. He checked me and to our surprise said I was at a 5! But right then, the grumpy nurse barged in and said, "NO, she's still a 4. Hasn't changed." What a meany! But then explained that because it was the first time that the Doctor actually checked me, his five was probably the same as her four. So of course, she checked me then too! The more the merrier!! (hint LOADS of sarcasm here). She quickly proclaimed that I was still at a four and hadn't changed at all. Sad. But kinda good in a way (at least I am giving my baby some extra time to hang out and build those lungs!!). So, yes, we were sent home and I was told not to do anything strenuous for 2 weeks, if I'd last that long. They also gave me a sleeping pill, because I was still having contractions at that point and they wanted me to sleep right away at home. Well, with the mixture of sleep and the medicine prior, I was out in no time flat (I feel really bad for Tanner, because he had to deal with groggy, half asleep Jessica while helping her brush her teeth, change, etc...) But now... I'm awake, it's morning, I feel quite nauseous, but NO contractions! They're gone! And I'm beginning to wonder if it was all just a dream.

No More Junk

Tired of being BIG

This is the first day in about a week that I actually put make-up on a curled my hair a bit. It's nice to look normal every once and a while. :) Everything is so much more work than normal. Like doing the dishes! Sheesh... who knew I'd need a rester after doing something so little. Yeah, and forget about me carrying all that laundry upstairs. Tanner now knows that when he sees a folded pile down here, it's his duty to haul it up to the bedroom. He's so nice to me. Well sometimes he says mean things, but I don't always think he realizes it. Like last night for example, I was complaining about him buying too much junk food. He likes having chips, cookies, and ice cream on a regular basis and I know that usually this is a very normal thing. BUT when you have a big pregnant lady in your house, she'll devour anything in site, thus creating a problem when you want an ice cream cone and the carton is empty. PLUS those foods really do help you get fat about 10 times faster! I used to be very good at small portions and just having the will power to say NO, but that has disappeared somewhere. Anywho, back to the subject... I was complaining saying that I need to surround myself with better food options, so I'll have less to splurge on. Tanner rolls over in bed, looks me square in the eye and says, "Just be stronger, don't eat it." or something like that. I know he meant no harm, but OUCH! I'm not strong enough?? Well he's probably right, but couldn't he have said something a little more kind instead of just slapping me across the face? ehh I know, I'm overreacting again. He loves me, I know he does. I woke up this morning and saw that he had taken all the cookies with him! You may think I'm insane, but to me this was such a loving gesture! I love my Tanner and am very proud of myself today, for getting ready like a real person and eating much better (fewer cookies anyway :)

New Bedding and a Crazy Dr. Visit

Baby's Bedding

You may have noticed that this is WITHOUT the mattress, because we hadn't purchased one yet, but you get the main idea... right? It's cute! I like it. Really girly, which freaked Tanner out a bit, but he says he likes it too. I'm in the process of painting some art to put up in the nursery to match this pink. I can't wait for our little lady to sleep in here! Although, she'll probably sleep in our room for the first couple months, but we'll see.

OH! I have to tell you about the crazy doc's office visit I had yesterday!! Okay, so it was a routine check up, except for the Group B test, which really was no big deal. I went in and met Dr. Allred for the first time and I really think he's my favorite. Way nice, very personable, and talks to you like person. I told him about being concerned with my hair constantly falling out throughout pregnancy and he told me that I should get my blood drawn to make sure I have enough iron in my body. Fine with me! Unlike a lot of people, I really don't have any problem with needles. It may have something to do with the numerous spinal cord surgeries and hospital stays I've had.... but maybe not :) ANYWAY, the nurse comes in and starts setting everything up. The doctor is still talking with me while she pokes away and all of a sudden I hear "Uh oh!!". I look down and see blood splattered everywhere! All over her, all over my arm, and of course all over my white capri's. I felt bad for her, I could tell she was really embarrassed and extremely sorry. "Not a big deal, don't you worry about it" that's what I said!! I couldn't believe my ears! I really wanted to burst into tears because my fav. pregnancy pants were ruined, but I kept my cool. I was very proud of myself. Then some other, older nurse came in and started poking away at my other arm and finally was successful at stealing my blood. I felt really bad though for all the girls in the waiting room who were there for the first time! One look at me walking out of there, bandaids all up and down both arms, blood splattered all over my pants, that must have scared them to pieces! Luckily I survived :) and somehow managed to get most of the blood out of my pants with a really handy stain stick I got from my bridal shower! I guess that's it for now.

The Good Ol' Days

Zoolights Dec. 05'

It's funny, because I seem to forget that I used to look good. Not just good for not doing my hair today, or good for being 17lbs. pregnant, or even cute in that maternity dress good. I mean the skinny, long shiny hair, clear skin kinda good. The sad thing is, is that I thought I looked horrible even then! Stupid me. That was almost two years ago, and even though this isn't the best picture, it captures the time that I miss... sometimes. Still lived at home, had a part time job at a car dealership, went on dates almost every night! Look how cute Tanner is too. He was only 21! (He's only 23 now, but that seems weird to me for some reason)

I can get back to that body right?? Okay well I know I'm fooling myself, but I at least know that I can lose the weight. My tummy may never look or feel the same, but I WILL TRY MY HARDEST!!!



OH cute, I just found a baby pic of ME! (Yeah, this post does seem a bit selfish today.... sorry)




Baby Jessica

(This is a pic of a pic, so I DO have a big glare on my forehead)

New Baby Ethan!

Our newest nephew! Little Ethan Gwynn Steveson, born the 27th of July (I just now got some decent pics.. finally!) He's so cute!! Makes me want my baby even more!

Steveson face for sure! Looks just like his older brother Isaac!

Big sis Emma takin a peak!

What a stud

This will be the closest cousin for our baby. Hopefully they'll have some fun together. The Steveson family will soon have 10 grandkids! Here's the order, from oldest to youngest

Bayley

Sadie

Maxwell

Angelina

Isaac

Emma

Ruby

Isaiah

Ethan

OUR BABY!

Most all of the kiddos live back home in WA (except for Ike), so they wont be able to see our little girl until I go home to visit in Oct. Hopefully that trip works out, because I have a lot of people to show her off to! I miss my family!

I've had an eating spree today. Just thought I might add. I've eaten much more than usual for ONE day. Cereal and oatmeal for breakfast, 3 cookies, 4 hard candies (butterscotch) yum!, a corn dog (don't normally like those), 3 otter pops, a hamburger patty, wheat thins, an apple, grapes, and lots of milk and water. It's only 2:05! Oh well, I keep telling myself that it's okay because I haven't hit the 20lb gain mark just yet. Oh, but I'm getting closer and closer!!

Pregnancy Blues

Oh Me Oh My... I feel like I've been pregnant my whole life! Whoever says that pregnancy is the best, most beautiful time in a woman's life is off their rocker! Seriously... I've got enough fat stored to keep me nourished through the next ice age, my ankles have finally disappeared, my face could pretty much pass as sandpaper (due to the lovely bumpies that aren't quite zits, but COVER my skin), and my stomach/tumor that is growing daily STILL! When will it end!?!

Okay so I KNOW when it'll end... when the baby is done cooking. But holy moly, 9 months?!! Seriously now. I don't think that's very fair. Well I suppose with great sacrifice comes great reward. All I have to say is this baby better be the cutest thing I've ever seen with money clutched in her hands and diamonds coming out of her ears when she gets here! Actually, I really am over reacting... there are SOME nice things about being pregnant. Like feeling your little alien dance and twirll around and how when you eat a big meal, it's OKAY if your stomach sticks out afterwards because it already does! I also like how you can get away with stuff that normally would get you dirty looks. Like just "forgetting" to do the chores, or taking 3 naps a day! When could you ever get away with that before??

Enough random babbling, I should probably start filling in the REAL details of my pregnancy and ME for that matter. I am 21 and have been pregnant since Jan. Which means, that this baby will be here in about 34 days! (I'm not obsessively counting or anything :) My husband and I had been trying for about 3-4 months, so we were blessed to have it happen so quickly. We are having a girl, or at least that's what two ultrasound techs have told us. Tanner still believes that they could be wrong or it could miraculously change by the time she's born. He's nuts. I knew it was a girl way before we went in. He's getting more and more excited that she's a she all the time, so that's encouraging. We moved to little ol' Rexburg about 2 months ago from beautiful Washington state. I miss it terribly, but we've adjusted fairly well by now. Tanner works for a construction company that builds houses (million dollar ones!) and I sit on my bum at home, eating cookies, and waiting for this little babe to pop out. What a life. Here are a few pics of us and my pregnant self.

First Comes LOVE, then comes MARRIAGE...

Then comes BABY in the baby stroller (who uses carriages these days)

Bathroom photo of my ever expanding belly, at 33 weeks.